


Swag

by sixbeforelunch



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fandom, Fluff, For values of friendship that involve a lot of snark and messing with each other, Friendship, Gen, Humor, arts and crafts, fanmail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 03:16:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixbeforelunch/pseuds/sixbeforelunch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tony is presumptuous, Thor is always up for an adventure whether properly dressed or not, and Bruce just wanted to get some work done this morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swag

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Day 7 of the 2014 Snowflake Challenge.

"Banner! Do you work for me yet?"

Bruce, sitting at his SI-owned desk in his SI-owned lab and drinking SI-provided water, peered over his glasses at Tony. "Yes. But whatever it is, I doubt it's in my job description."

Tony waived a hand, dismissing this minor issue like a pesky fly. "There are forty two boxes being delivered to the twenty second floor as we speak. Deal with them."

"Definitely not in my job description." And then, because he couldn't help himself, "What am I supposed to do them with them anyway?"

"Smash them. Irradiate them. Experiment on them. I don't care. Just make them go away."

"Tony what even--"

Tony spun on his heel and walked away muttering, "Like that Seinfeld episode with the muffins--not renting any more storage lockers--just light them all on fire."

Bruce had absolutely, positively made up his mind that he was not going down to the twenty second floor. And then, the little voice--that sounded suspiciously like the one that had wanted to know what would happen if he tried to recreate Howard Stark's vitarays--mused that whatever was down there, it had to be at least a little interesting if it could throw Tony into a snit like that.

He ran into Thor in the elevator, dressed in decidedly un-regal sweatpants that barely reached his upper calves and a T-shirt that had cartoon puppies on it. Bruce wasn't sure if he should admire Thor's total disregard for gender stereotypes, or point out that Jane Foster was tiny even by puny Midgardian standards, and on Thor her clothing looked positively obscene.

Instead of doing either, he asked, "Are you in the mood for an adventure?"

Thor perked up. "Always!"

"It's probably going to be a really stupid adventure. Just. So you know."

"These boxes, what do they contain?" Thor asked, when Bruce had outlined the gist of Tony's rant.

"No idea."

"Then we shall journey to the twenty second floor to find out," Thor said, with a firm nod. "It will be a grand journey." Bruce eyed him out of the corner of his eye. He sounded almost sincere, but the corner of his mouth was turned up just enough.

"Whatever," Bruce said.

On the twenty second floor, they found a harried-looking UPS driver who looked between them twice before deciding on the alien in sweatpants that left nothing to the imagination over the rage monster.

"The last name is Odinson. O-D-I-N-S-O-N." Bruce shot him a questioning look. "The convenience of online shopping is most appealing. You are not our usual UPS driver. If you see Lori, tell her I said hello."

Bruce pried open the first box as the driver left (fled).

"Oh. So this is...something."

It was forty two boxes of fanmail. But not letters--nothing so mundane and normal as that.

"Tribute!" Thor said, taking out a amigurumi Black Widow and stroking it's delicately crafted hair. "The people of your world are most generous."

"The people of my world have too much time on their hands," Bruce said, taking out a Captain America hook rug.

He found in one of the boxes a letter explaining Tony's rant. Tony had rented out an entire storage facility and hired a staff to sort and respond to the fan mail. They got forwarded to them a weekly package with selected, screened letters that they could respond to, or not, as they chose. Most of the ones that made it through were from kids. Bruce had always known there was more, but he hadn't had any concept of how much more.

"We filled the storage facility to capacity," he said, with some wonder. "This is the overflow. This is _this week's_ overflow."

"Most generous," Thor repeated. Bruce acknowledged him with a nod over his shoulder, then did a double take when he realized that Thor was holding up a near-life-sized portrait of the Avengers. In the nude. The artist had been...kind in their representation.

Bruce coughed. "Right. Anyway."

They spent the morning going through boxes, Thor with unfeigned delight, Bruce first out of a sort of morbid curiosity, and then with increasing wonder. The sheer creativity was astonishing. Some of the pieces, like a carved wood Thor Odinson standing over a slain bear with a broad sword, were nearly fine art. Others made up with enthusiasm what they lacked in technical proficiency.

"Macrame really should have died with the 70s," Bruce said, eying a set of owls done up in Avengers iconic colors, one for each of the six of them.

There was, unsurprisingly, an abundance of Captain America-themed work. Tony came in an easy second, with the rest of them straggling at the rear.

Bruce didn't find much related to himself, to his very great relief. There was a crocheted afghan with the other guy on it, packaged with a note saying that he hoped Bruce would like it on his bed. Bruce shivered. He couldn't imagine anything less conducive to a night's rest. There was also a pencil sketch of a man walking in the shadow of a hulking beast that hit him like a blow to the chest. He shoved it to the bottom of one of the boxes.

"So..." Bruce said, when they had tired of Hawkeye cross stitched throw pillows and Iron Man aprons.

"The tribute offered by your people to their heroes is most kind. I do not know how best to put it to use."

Bruce smiled. "I...may have an idea."

And that is how Tony Stark came home to find his bedroom redecorated with homemade Captain America swag.

Bruce ignored the outraged emails. It still wasn't in his job description.


End file.
